In this day and age, people are plagued with self doubt, lack of self worth, and feeling insignificant. Parents struggle every day to put food on the table and pay the bills; there is often no time left to help their children grow into happy, healthy adults.

Children are cruel and often say hurtful things that can scar a young child’s psyche for years to come. When there is no positive reinforcement from home, the child often tends to allow the negative comments to take a hold and a belief system is born.

Every day on the television we see the horrors of daily life in which we are subjected to. More often than not, the evils that surround us go unmentioned in our own world due to the emotions that encompass them. Although we do not mean to, the effects of our hidden secrets, control our sub conscious mind causing a negative impact on the necessary outlook that we enforce. If we are unable to provide a positive attitude in which to offer our own children, they will more than likely grow up with the same lack of self confidence or esteem.

Although we can not always control our external environment and circumstances which surround us, we can have control over how we react to what is within our own walls. Our children are the number one most important asset that we are given. It is not only our duty and responsibility to ensure they are raised with a healthy ego, it should be our prime concern to ensure they know the power contained within maintaining a positive outlook on life.

If you allow your children to grow and mature as they have been ordained to do so, encouraging them to follow their own desires, creative activities, and innovative ideas, they will learn to believe in themselves regardless of what others may do or say. We can help our children learn to become leaders. We can help our children know what it feels like to stand proud over their achievements and remain strong and assured as they venture forth into another adventure.

We all have the power within us to decide for ourselves what type of people we want to be. We have the power to show our children that regardless of how dismal our surroundings, we can make a conscious effort to gain and hold onto the positive in everything, no matter how hard.

There is no measure for a child’s smile, a spontaneous loving hug, or the proud look of accomplishment on your child’s face when they are awarded for a job well done. All these can be yours to share if you can find the time to spend with your children teaching them the value of love, trust, honesty, and total acceptance for who they are. If you help to foster a resilient attitude within them, together you will be able to rise above and mature into healthy, happy people who will be able to handle anything that comes your way.

About the Author

Melanie Bremner is presently running and maintaining an online Family EBook Sales shop, and produces a weekly newsletter full of stories, facts and fun for the whole family.

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For the third year in a row, Miracles of Hope, http://www.miracles-of-hope.com, is collecting Prom Dresses for Katrina Victims through Becca‘s Closet, http://www.beccascloset.org.

The Prom Dress campaign, for those who don’t know the story, began with Rebecca Kirtman, a remarkably caring 16 year old from Florida. In the spring of her freshman year at Nova High School, Rebecca started a dress bank to provide dresses and accessories to high school girls who wanted to attend their prom or homecoming but could not afford it. That year, Becca was able to collect over 250 prom dresses. Regretfully, Becca passed away in a tragic automobile accident on August 20, 2003, but her legacy goes on through the efforts of friends and family.

Last year Becca’s Closet and Sharon Stone’s organization, Planet Hope, helped Miracles of Hope with every single girl who contacted them for help. In addition, Planet Hope also donated two designer gowns, along with accessories of jewelry and perfume for the girls. Donations are accepted all year long, however, the deadline for this prom season is April.

Miracles-of-hope.com is helping direct collections to the areas who need help, for example, there is a group of 40 high school musicians who are going to New Orleans to give a concert and donate 100K worth of musical instruments. They contacted Miracles of Hope because a couple of the girls want to collect gowns so they are setting them up for their collection to go to a Becca’s Closet chapter in that area. Denise Marhoefer, founder of Miracles of Hope, also says that, “anyone who would want to collect and be responsible for sending them to the Katrina area can collect for me that way, I have people on the ground there who can distribute.” She goes on to say that she is concentrating on helping the hardest hit areas this year.

The Miracles of Hope Network is a fantastic organization dedicated to helping children all over the world. The description on their website states, “Miracles Of Hope Network is made up of child agencies, organizations, and celebrities world-wide, who are dedicated to the creation and restoration of good in the lives of children.” These agencies and organizations include: The Defense Foundation for Children, The Juvenile Defender, Healing Horses, Brainstormers INC, and 911 Gear.

You can visit http://www.miracles-of-hope.com and view a “RockYou” slideshow of the beautiful gowns. It is amazing to see one girl’s legacy touch so many hearts. The inspired spirit of humanity moves on.

If you would like to assist in this worthwhile project, please visit http://www.beccascloset.org to either find a chapter near you or start a chapter of your own. You can also contact Denise Marhoefer at defensefoundation@gmail.com for information about sending dresses directly to the Katrina area for distribution.

Written in collaboration with Mary Beth Marino, The Writing Editor, www.thewritingeditor.com

I’m busy working on a new image when I hear my 13-year-old daughter talking on the phone. She’s very excited because she’s going to a dance and she’s discussing fashion and makeup with her girlfriend. I sigh and go back to work. This is the part of growing up that I find the hardest. She finally comes downstairs and out of the corner of my eye I get a glimpse of what she’s wearing, which then gets my full attention. “You are NOT leaving this house looking like that!” I find myself hollering, having a brief flashback of my father yelling the same thing. What follows is a 30-minute long screaming match. Mostly about how I’m being unfair, everyone dresses like that, and her life will be ruined if she doesn’t wear that exact outfit at this particular dance. This is actually a common scene in households all over the world.

Anyone who sees my children must think we are destitute. All their clothes are either too big or too small. I honestly do buy them clothes that fit properly; they just refuse to wear them. The end result is wasted money, arguments, and one frustrated parent. How do you stop the cycle? To be honest that depends on you and your child and will probably require a trial and error period. As my mother always said, you have to pick and choose your battles. You have to decide first off what you can or cannot live with in regards to how your child is dressed, set some basic rules, and be consistent with those rules. If it was only as easy as that!

Children, I think, are designed to rebel. Do you remember when you were that age bringing an extra set of clothes to school or a dance, or even wearing the offending outfit under the one your parents deemed appropriate? Things haven’t changed that much since you were a teenager. The first step to head off a battle of wills where you will inevitably become the loser is to understand why your child is doing this. There are a couple reasons kids choose the styles they do. One is simply to “fit in.” At this age fitting in and popularity seems like the most important thing in the world. Every time a new fad comes out you see cookie cutter copies coming out of the woodwork regardless of whether they are appropriate or not. Another is an act of rebellion and is related to showing their independence from you and creating a unique identity for themselves.

Communication is the answer to everything. Children who feel the need to follow the crowd are still searching for their own identity, but are going the easy route by allowing other people to choose who they are for them. Children who feel the need to rebel are also searching for their identity and refusing to allow anyone including you define who they should be, what they should look like, or how they should act. The answer is cultivating a healthy relationship with your child based on mutual respect and communication. Your young teenager has a right as well as a need to make some decisions for themselves. Your role now is to gently guide those decisions without being pushy as well as helping them to be comfortable with their own self-image.

The solution for me, was to come up with a compromise between what I thought was appropriate and what she thought was essential. This time of your child’s life is not going to be easy for either of you, but it can be made liveable if you remember that respect is a two way street. If you respect their right to make some decisions on their own, they will be more willing to welcome your opinion when making those decisions.

How many video Game systems do you have in your household? I have five, count them five, and that’s not including the three computers we also have in the house. Of course only three of them can be played at any given time, but in my opinion that’s still an awful lot of systems, and a lot of time wasted playing games. I must admit however, I am not immune to the video game bug. As an avid reader in possession of a creative mind my favorite style of game is Role Playing Games, or RPG. I just can’t pass up a good storyline. These games are so addictive I sometimes get my children to play them, just so I can watch and follow the storyline.

Are video games destroying our children’s minds? While it is true that a lot of games are either a total escape from reality or violent enough to make Attila the Hun cringe, video games can teach a variety of skills including decision-making and hand-eye co-ordination. If you look hard enough there are also video games with educational applications, teaching reading, math, history, and even science. The key to what your child learns while playing a video game is your supervision and participation. An informed parent can help choose appropriate games, monitor frustration levels, and guide their children in seeing their game in a different way.

Another concern about video games is the lack of social interaction as well as the lack of physical activity. Here again, it’s up the parent to regulate how often and how long their child plays. The best way to do this is to start as early as possible and set reasonable limits. My answer to this was in getting them to play the games I enjoyed watching, or so I told myself. Sometimes it would work and I’d have children begging me to be allowed to go outside and play instead, other times it would backfire and a whole day would be wasted.

Games are a great way to teach our children skills that can help them as they grow. This week we will be looking, not only at video games and how to make informed decisions, but also at board games, card games, and active games.

Do you play computer or video games with your children? Which one is your favorite?

One of the top reasons people decide to work at home is family. You can break that down even further to include; wanting to stay home to care for younger pre-school children, wanting to cut down on the cost of daycare, needing flexibility to care for ill family members, or preparing for a new child. There are many more variations on the same theme and as many reasons as there are people staying at home, but for this article we are going to concentrate on spending more time with your family.Starting and running your own business is a difficult and time-consuming proposition. Starting and running your own HOME business can be even more difficult. What starts out as a great idea to balance the needs of money and family, ends up becoming a headache with long nights, stress, and strained relationships.

The most common question I hear is how do you handle a home business and care for a small child at the same time. The difficulties are obvious. To a small child the world revolves solely around them and they rarely choose to let go of that control on your attention. Add to that the very genuine concern for your child’s safety and you have a no win situation. Budgeting your time and restricting your work hours to when your child is asleep can work, but also can leave you with little or no sleep and a crabby spouse which is a whole other mess we’ll explore at a later date.

The best solution I’ve found is to simply keep the child with you, either in a playpen or at a table within your sight. Now you’re probably thinking, “Oh I could have thought of that,” but there’s a bit more planning involved than just locking yourself and your child in a room for 8 hours. First of all if possible you need a fair sized, well-lit room with limited exits. That way you can divide your attention between your work and your child and be confident that he/she is not going to suddenly fall down the stairs, or get into something dangerous. This room could be a combination office/playroom, your living room, or your kitchen. When you start off on this adventure with your child, go over the room with a fine-tooth comb to make sure it is completely secure for your child and convenient for you. Also plan your room in such a way that your child can’t pull out plugs, mess up your filing system, or generally cause havoc while you are working.

Once you have your room picked out and the layout planned to your satisfaction, you need to stock it. Of course you need all your work materials. That would include your computer, your filing system, a portable phone, as well as anything else that is essential to your particular business. You also need to consider the needs of your child. The key idea here is to save as many steps as humanly possible. Set aside a corner of your chosen room just for your child and include his/her favorite toys, books, games, and craft materials. For younger children, include a playpen for naps. In your part of the room also include non-perishable snacks and juice boxes or ready-made bottles. You may also want to include a coffeemaker or cordless kettle set up somewhere safe to attend to your own needs. One other item I included in my own room was a television and dvd/vcr player along with a large arsenal of educational videos.

Now that you have chosen your room, planned the layout, and stocked it fully, you can start to work right? Wrong. You’ll never get any work done without a little time-management and planning. The next step would be to come up with a flexible schedule for the day, and I emphasise flexible. Estimate how much time you are going to need for work that day and balance your schedule between that and the needs of your child. Plan out your child’s activities, snack breaks, and down time. Remember to add in down time for yourself as well as time at least once a day for some physical activity.

Typically a young child’s average attention span is directly proportional to their age. Meaning, a five year old will have an average attention span of five minutes. This of course is not a hard-fast rule but a guideline, as every child is unique with different needs and temperaments. For the child with a shorter attention span, giving them one activity at a time could drive you crazy. Better to give that child a choice of two or three activities at a time, giving you at least 15 minutes of uninterrupted work time. Longer if his/her attention is recaptured by the choices available. You need to take into account your child’s particular temperament and attention span when creating your schedule. I would not however recommend giving your child too many choices at one time. The end result may well be that your child will run through all the activities at a much faster rate or even worse, create a mess of epic proportions resulting in less work time and more clean up time for you.

While we are on the topic of cleaning, children as young as two are capable of learning basic clean up rules. For instance, a two year old can be taught to put one toy away before taking out another toy. This is a habit you can easily instill, without interrupting your work, with a simple reminder at regular times.

What kind of activities can you plan? Playtime is a given. Encourage your child to use his/her imagination to create various scenarios for their favorite toys. You can schedule story time to coincide with your downtime and just before naptime (if your child still takes naps).

As a side note to naps and sleep patterns, remember that consistency is the key to happy slumbers. That part of your schedule should be set in stone. Even the most active child can still have naptime up to five years of age without affecting their nighttime sleep patterns. I know most people stop naps because their child will not sleep properly at night, but I can tell you with experience that, though bedtime may be delayed for a short period of time, if you are consistent in your nap and night rituals it will return to normal before you know it.

Craft time is a popular activity with the preschool and kindergarten set. You can find age appropriate crafts online or at your local library. Coloring is a great craft that takes little preparation and encourages imaginative play. Play dough is also a great way to occupy your child’s attention. You can find recipes for play dough all over the Internet as well as at your library, or you can simply buy it. I buy mine at our local dollar store. Saving ordinary household items for crafts not only sparks your child’s imagination, but also saves your local landfill.

Quite simply, the main benefit of keeping your child in the same room with you while you work is that you have the opportunity to bond and spend time with your child. Planning ahead and keeping your schedule balanced and flexible will help you spend time with your children and get your work done.